Understanding the Emotions of the Job Hunt

Over the course of my 20’s I took it upon myself to move cities and change jobs every 3–9 months in the pursuit of excitement, novelty and the ‘next best thing’. This constant moving and changing lead me to my current career as a transition coach, helping people navigate the very same changes that I have made so many times. It’s because of this that I am intimately familiar with the emotional landscape of changing jobs. I am going to paint that landscape for you here with the goal of helping you understand:

1. You are not alone.
2. You are in an inevitable process of change.
3. Choosing change has an emotional impact.
4. Where you are in the process so that you won’t stop in a moment of despair.
5. How to navigate your next job transition with as much ease as possible.

You’ve likely changed jobs once or twice yourself and will recognize parts of this landscape. As you are reading, feel free to take note of what each phase brings up for you. There may be phases that feel exciting or familiar, and there may be stages that turn up the volume on your inner critic, or have you experiencing full-force resistance. Just notice these responses as you read.

The Emotional Phases of the Job Hunt

Dissatisfaction — Most job hunts start with some sense of dissatisfaction with our current employment; be that unemployed, underemployed or mis-employed. Dissatisfaction can be heavy in the body and can be accompanied with feelings of dread, hopelessness or lethargy. Thoughts may arise that say: ‘How much longer can I do this? What if I’m stuck doing this forever? There has got to be something better for me.’ If we listen to the dissatisfaction for long enough we will move on to the next phase.

Curiosity — Dissatisfaction leads to window shopping and we start looking around at what other people are doing for work. We might daydream about taking over a colleagues’ job, or maybe we’re hitting the job boards late at night, scrolling through the lives that could be ours. Curiosity can feel light in the body as it carries with it the light of hope. Thoughts that might arise in this phase include: ‘What else is out there that might interest me? How much does it pay? Who’s hiring right now? What do I really want to do?’ As curiosity grows we move into imagination.

Imagination — During the imagination phase job seekers see everything as possible. We may start remembering passions that have taken a back seat because of our current career, or imagine how it would feel to work in an entirely new field. We could be bookmarking jobs that we have no acquired skills for because this is the phase of the dream and nothing will hold us back. This phase feels exciting and open, and there is a lot of energy propelling us forward in our search. We may hear ourselves thinking: ‘I could do that. That would be awesome. Look at all of the opportunities out there.’ During this phase some people will quit their current jobs or start creating a serious exit strategy. Imagination tends to last as long as we are looking at the big picture and tends to burn out when we get down to the details of applying to and acquiring all of the jobs we have imagined.

Overwhelm — When we get down to the details, open up all of the bookmarks we have saved and start reading the fine print, overwhelm can move in. We can get exhausted with the process of considering what jobs we would actually want to do, considering how much change it might require. The sheer magnitude of making this shift in our lives starts to settle into our potential reality. We might think: ‘I have so many applications to fill out and cover letters to write. Argh. I have no time for this.’ We may put time aside for applying to new jobs and then find any excuse not to do it.

Uncertainty — In tandem with overwhelm is uncertainty. We may start to feel intimidated reading through all of the qualifications on job postings. Of course every recruiter is looking for the top candidate and making the application process competitive. We may start thinking ‘I’m not qualified for any of these. Am I obsolete? Do I have any skills? Maybe things aren’t as bad as I think they are, maybe I should just stay where I’m at. No job is perfect, right?’ Feelings of fear, self-doubt and self-judgement hang around us, slowing down the application process as we consider who we are and how we fit in.

Despair — If we give in to overwhelm and uncertainty we can hit a deep, dark patch of despair. Thoughts that may creep up include: ‘There is absolutely nothing I want to do for work. Curse this capitalist society, I’m going to go live in a commune. No one will hire me. I’ll never find what I want.’ We feel completely hopeless, ashamed and lost. This may be a time where tears show up, that we are quick to anger or we notice ourselves complaining to friends and family. Often the time of despair is a time of non-action in the job hunt. We feel frozen.

Perseverance — What will get us through overwhelm, uncertainty and despair is perseverance. If we continue to search, continue to apply and continue to activate our network of resources, then we can get through to the other side. Thoughts to adopt here are: ‘Nothing is going to change unless I show up to changing it. I am going to keep sending in resumes and keep my network activated. I know I can reach out to these people who have the skills or advice I need to hear right now.’ We feel determined and self-trust returns as we activate ourselves towards what we want in our life. We are applying to jobs, working on resumes and cover letters and messaging our network for support, connections and advice.

Small waves — If we persevere then we will weather the small waves of emotion that come next. We may get an interview or receive a promising e-mail. We may receive a discouraging e-mail or be alerted that we were not chosen for an interview. Feelings oscillate between hope, excitement and disappointment, loss. There may also be a sense of release as we have done what we can for now. Others will stay in anxiety until they have an offer in hand. This is a time for imagining further into the promising futures and closing the door to the no’s. We may be checking and rechecking our emails and keeping friends and loved ones up to date on the daily play-by-play. We are alert, anxious, and curious.

Relief — After weathering the small waves we will eventually hear success (or if we don’t we will slingshot back to the top of the process, this time with more angst). A job offer, or a few, come in. We have options, we have an imagined future. Relief washes over us. We consider what this new job will mean for us, whether the working conditions and salary are right, and whether it is a step towards more of what we are cultivating in our lives. When all of these things align, we accept the offer and move into the last phase in the job change.

Reorganization — This process can be more mental than emotional as we take care of all of the logistics required in making a change. Often resigning from our current position or telling the people around us of the change can come with some feelings of sadness, uncertainty or guilt. In this phase we are tying up loose ends, communicating our intentions, closing accounts and making any changes needed towards the new direction. We may be thinking: ‘What is my new job going to feel like? Am I going to like it? Are they going to like me? I can’t wait to start.’ We navigate the process of shifting our world to step into this new version of ourselves.

Celebration — You did it! Feelings of hope, self-acknowledgement and all of the positive feelings have an opening to rush in.

The Way Through

I’ve seen people at their worst when they are trapped in one of these phases without any apparent movement. It can cause people to give up the hunt, to give up hope and accept that which is making them unhappy for the long term. Don’t let this happen to you. If you find yourself stuck in one of these phases:

1. Notice which phase you are in.
2. Acknowledge the feelings you are having, with compassion. Change is big.
3. If you need outside support, ask for it.
4. Do whatever you need to do to get back to perseverance.
5. Remember that change occurs with action and intention.

To Conclude

The next time you are in the process of a job change remember these phases as they will help guide you. If you know which phase you are in, you can acknowledge it and take action to spur you into the next. You’re not alone. Transition is possible.