8 Tips for Getting What You Want at Work

Most people approach asking for what they want at work in one of two ways, especially when what they’re asking for is out of the norm of their work culture. The first is that they don’t ask. Instead, they spend their days hoping that their boss will see what they want and bestow it upon them, and they eventually become resigned to their lot in life when they don’t receive it. The second is that they don’t ask, but tell, and come across as hyper-aggressive. They think that they need to make a stand or make a threat — “Give me this or else …” — in order to be taken seriously, which can create a rift in trust and a constant battle for power. But there’s a third way. It’s called the calculated ask.

The calculated ask can require an even understanding of what you want and what the other person wants. Here’s how to do it:

1. Lay The Foundation

Long before you ask for what you want, it’s important to demonstrate that you’re there for the team, that you take other people’s needs into account and that you want the best for the company or organization that you work for. Demonstrate this by saying something like, “I know it’s our priority to meet X goals by X time, and I want to assure you that that’s my priority as well.”

2. Connect With Your Why

Write down the motivation for the ask, and examine how receiving it would make you feel. For example, let’s say you want a more flexible schedule so that you can take a yoga class. The motivation may be to feel good in your body, or to find some time to breathe and de-stress. Being connected to your why can validate your ask internally, which can help you better express your need externally.

3. Get Over What Other People Might Think

So what if you start a mini revolution at work where other people start asking for what they want and are able to get their work done in a way that supports their lifestyle needs? Your workplace will likely be all the healthier for it.

4. Come Up With Options

Providing options can make you look flexible and available for what’s needed. For example, instead of asking, “Can I do this or not?” ask whether you could come in a bit earlier and leave earlier, adjust your lunch break or front-load your schedule Monday through Thursday and take a shorter day on Friday. What do you see working best?

5. Understand What The Other Person Wants, And Give It To Them

Using the example above, if you’re asking for a flexible schedule so you can attend a yoga class, it’s probably important to your boss that all the work gets done. Assure them that they’re going to get what they want, and draw the road map for how you’re going to make that happen.

6. Offer A Trial Period

Try asking, “Can we try this for a couple of weeks and see whether it works for us?” This way you’re avoiding a hard no, which people often give when they aren’t sure whether they’ll be happy with the outcome.

7. Show Up Strong

You’re building trust in the first phase of this change, so make sure you’re showing up just as strong, if not more so, at work as you were before the change to show that you’re capable of holding up your end of the bargain.

8. Express How It Has Improved Your Life

You could say something like, “Since taking this yoga class, I’ve been less stressed at work, and I really feel like I’m better equipped when I walk into meetings.” By expressing how a change has improved your life, you’re expressing gratitude and appreciation to your boss, which does three things:

• It helps create a warm relationship with your boss, which can lead to further partnering or promotions in the future.

• It can help you feel like your life and your work are more integrated, which can give you a better sense of work-life balance.

• It shows your boss that they made a good decision and that they’re creating a loyal employee.

By asking for what you want at work, you can establish healthy boundaries and provide your company with the tools to support your growth and job satisfaction. It’s possible to create a culture that takes care of both the company’s mission and your personal growth, and it starts with you and your ask.